There I was in my new homeroom classroom on the first day of school. I passed to the 7th grade with not one grade lower than an A-. I looked around the classroom recognizing faces I’ve seen for the past eight years at I.S.306, the school I attended that was three blocks away from my home in Bronx, NY.
As I was looking around I strangely saw one unfamiliar face of a light-skinned boy with hazel eyes and straight, light brown hair in a shape of a mushroom. He must have been the cutest boy in the class. As I observed him talking to his friends, he seemed friendly, he kept making a lot of jokes so he seemed funny, and I knew he was smart, because our class was the second smartest class out of the whole 7th grade.
Of course, I being the shiest girl in the class who never spoke or raised my hand in class did not have the courage to exchange words with the boy. Then again I doubted he would want to talk to me considering I was a tomboy.
My outfit always consisted of very baggy blue jeans that were so big on me, I would have to use a thick belt and tighten it really tight, so high above my waist, it covered my belly button. I switched between wearing a green, yellow, or orange button down, long sleeve collar shirt, which I buttoned all the way to the top, and wore the oldest, torn up pair of New Balance sneakers that seemed too big for my feet. Every inch of my body was covered only exposing my tiny little head full of dark brown, “want to be straight,” shoulder length hair that was too big to even try and comb in the morning. I was obviously not the most attractive girl in the class, so I knew right away Arnando would never lay eyes on me.
I figured he liked the other girls in my class who were always in style. They wore tight, top designer jeans, tight matching shirts, wore the latest footwear that matched perfectly with their outfit, and wore nice hair that probably took them at least half an hour every morning to get done.
I would come to school every day looking the same as I did since kindergarten. My daily routine being walking to school by myself, coming in to class and sitting in my assigned seat, right across from Arnando who looked cuter every day I saw him. Still not saying one word whatsoever, I prayed for the day to be over so I could go back home, by myself, and count the days left for the weekend to come so I could go to my Aunt Oneida’s house as I do every weekend, and hang out with my cousin Gladys. Gladys was the complete opposite of me. She was the most popular girl in her school. She had the looks, the smarts, and the personality, which is embarrassing for me, because she is a year younger. Despite that we were so different, she was still the person I felt most comfortable talking to. I would tell her about Arnando and the struggle I was going through in trying to get him to notice me.
Finally the weekend came and I went to Aunt Oneida’s house as usual. Gladys really wanted to go shopping, her favorite hobby, so Aunt Oneida took us to the shopping center in Parkchester. As I was looking around the junior section where all the designer clothing such as PePe jeans, Marc Ecko, Enyce, and so on, I spotted a pair of dark blue jeans that had little rhinestones on the back pockets in a butterfly shape. Aunt Oneida saw me looking at the pair of jeans which she thought were really nice and told me to try them on. I said, “I don’t want to try them on. Besides they don’t have my size.” Aunt Oneida looked at the jeans, “These are size 7, they will fit you perfectly.” I knew the pants were going to fit me tighter than the regular pairs of jeans I owned, but I tried them on so Aunt Oneida would stop insisting. I came out the fitting room to see both Aunt Oneida’s and Gladys’s jaw drop at the sight of me. “Mi hija, those jeans really bring out your curves. Now you look like a true Dominican girl.” Aunt Oneida said. Gladys was so excited, she ran out and came back with a shirt she thought would go along with the jeans. I tried on the pink v-neck, short sleeve shirt, which had matching rhinestones spelling out “Angel” on the front. I looked in the mirror and I couldn’t believe how different I looked. I thought I looked pretty good. Aunt Oneida was so excited that she bought the outfit. She even volunteered to do my hair, which she washed and straightened. It took her at least three hours, but I was happy to see my hair look so straight and long.
As I arrived home on Sunday night, I felt excited to wear my new outfit the next day and at the same time, nervous to know if Arnando might talk to me now that I had a new look. I was really hoping he would notice me and would talk to me and eventually become friends.
I awoke Monday morning to start my daily routine. I walked to school, this time wearing my hair down and my new outfit. As I walked inside homeroom, I felt all eyes were on me. I was hearing everyone in the class whispering to the person next to them, and I knew they were talking about me, because their eyes were on me, but they leaned forward with one hand covering their mouth so one can't read their lips. I was so nervous I couldn’t stop fidgeting. I quietly sat down in my seat across from Arnando, who usually always turned his back to me to talk to his friends. This time he faced forward smiling at me.
"What‘s up?" I stumbled to say while hearing my heart pounding so loud, I couldn’t hear myself think. "Nothing, what’s up with you?" Arnando said. “Nothing…how are you?” I managed to say after a few seconds. "I'm good, just wanting this day to be over so I can play baseball after school," he said. I was happy he mentioned baseball, because it's always been my favorite sport. That day I found out we both liked the same baseball team and player; Derek Jeter from the New York Yankees. The conversation went from what we do after school to our favorite television show to our favorite food, which was green plantains with fried eggs, salami, and white Dominican cheese. We found out we had a lot of things in common. The day went by so fast, before I knew it, he was walking me back home. I didn't even notice until we were outside my building door.
I remember him telling me he didn't know I was so cool and that he should have spoken to me earlier in the school year. I told him I always wanted to talk to him, but I was too shy and nervous he wouldn't want to talk back to me. He said he will see me tomorrow and I waved and repeated the same back to him.
The next day I went back to school wearing my regular everyday outfit to school, but I still looked decent, because my hair still looked nice. I sat in my seat, I said hello to Arnando and he said hello back, and we continued talking regularly as we did the previous day. As the days went by, he continued walking me home. He even took me to play baseball with him and his friends, which I really enjoyed, even though I was not as great as the other players.
Eventually I changed my image and wore nicer clothes. By the time I was in eighth grade, I became one of the most popular girls in my grade and continued to be one all throughout high school. I acted like all popular girls do; I was snobby, really stuck up, only stayed with one group of friends, and I cared a lot about my look and reputation. I mostly did this to get guys to like me and to fit in, but at some point I remembered my tomboy years, and I realized that the way I looked had nothing to do with a boy liking me or not. My day of looking pretty was just something that boosted my confidence for me to act like myself. So instead of caring so much about my image, I started acting like myself and I was accepted for that.
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This piece is very engaging and attention-grabber. When I was reading it, I felt like watching a chick flick, so I was really looking forward for the “tomboy girl” getting the handsome kid. I think that the pace is very good and there are great scenes like the one with Aunt Oneida at the mall. Including some of her dialogues like “Mi hija, now you look like a true Dominican”, was a very good idea. I had a clear and detailed idea of what was going on.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I felt that the ending is quite sudden. The last paragraphs seemed to wrap up the whole story with a moral. I’m sure that if you revise this part the piece will improve significantly.
Maureen- Man, haven’t we all been there? The makeover experience? This piece really speaks from the voice not only of you at present, but of you at that time. While that may not be the most ‘journalistic’ thing in the world, I feel like it really establishes that mood, you know? Puts me in the mindset. Plus, seventh graders are economic with words, always a journalism plus! The jeans seem kind of ‘magical’ almost. I want to know more about them. The piece has some tonal shifts where it becomes alternatively very narrative, and very reflective. I feel like a blend of the two would be a superior alternative. I thought it would blend more when it reached the ‘aha’ moment, but that moment never fully hit for me. It’s strongest when the reader sees the jeans, the new outfit, etc, but then it just completes the story, and there’s no tone shift after. It feels like a blip, not a shift until the “eventually.” I like the message, and the way it all wraps up, it’s a good story, but don’t spell it out for me with that last sentence. Make me think.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this piece, mostly because I had a similar middle-to-high school transition, except I wasn’t trying to get the attention of cute boys, not all the time anyway. The best part of your writing is the little sentences that put you in the mindset of a seventh grader. Like when you said you knew that Arnando was smart because your class was the second smartest in the whole seventh grade. Or when you said you didn’t even realize he was walking you home until you reached your front doorstep. I also really liked the revelatory part when your aunt told you you looked like a real Dominican girl, and when you first spoke to Arnando, that felt good to read. And when you wore your normal clothes again but remained friends, and it was good that you admitted you joined the popular ranks and appropriated their popular ways. I’d say the only thing that I would ask from this piece is more profound feeling, you know? The only emotion is shyness, how shy you felt in your tomboy form, but how did you feel when you realized how good you looked in the new pants.
ReplyDeleteMaureen, this piece made me happy to read :). Maybe because i've been fashion savvy ever since i can remember and value expressing yourself via aesthetic presentation , but also because like you, besides the ego-strokes i received based on my appearance in middle school, i really valued my inner tomboy and the fact that beyond being attractive and dressing well, i'd always been athletic and loved sports. I liked how it made you feel when you discovered how much you & arnando had in common, and that you enjoyed each others company walking home for reasons other than your fresh new appearance (which, according to you wouldn't have been possible without the jeans.) However, i'd like to know more about your inner most feelings about yourself during your metamorphosis from a shy tomboy into a sexy spotlight woman. Did you still like playing baseball? Did you ever miss being a low-maintenance kid? What happened to Arnando? These are all questions i'd love to have the answers to.
ReplyDeleteYour piece is so familiar! I really enjoyed reading about your experience going from tomboy to high maintenance “popular girl,” not that the two are necessarily mutually exclusive. Your storytelling was engaging and the images of your transformation came across very clearly. Particularly fun to read was the bit about how your classmates received your new look and the overall message that even after you’d had a taste of a different identity, one you weren’t naturally inclined to identify with, you were able to return to yourself and take the feeling of confidence with you.
ReplyDeleteThe phrase, “want to be straight,” in reference to your hair made me laugh! I totally understand that feeling and the fact that you put it in quotations made me wonder who had said it to you in the first place, further adding depth to you as a character in your own piece. The characterizations of your Aunt Oneida and Gladys worked really well to paint the scene; I think you balanced their details with your main focus in a very effective way.
At times, I was confused by changes in tense. It wasn’t frequent and occurred more often at the beginning that anywhere else; it just slowed my reading and stalled the action temporarily.
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